I miss you Timor
2009 July 7
I am struggling a bit to bring back my self-confidence and self knowledge that I had in Timor. The moment I stepped of the plane in Darwin all I wanted to do was eat shit.
It’s like it’s a drug for me in Australia.
Yesterday it was cookies.
Today it was ice cream, chocolate, carmels…whatever I could get myself onto. A WW pizza and diet coke (I threw it away after eating 1/2 of it…it tasted terrible)
- Why is it at work I want sugar?
- Why do I feel like I don’t deserve to be honest with my body’s signals of hunger?
- Why does binging seem like something that I deal with here and not in Timor?
I have it, I have my soul and ability to love and fuel my body…
I am not surpressing it.
But, I miss you Timor.
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Sorry to hear you’re having trouble. I’m exactly the same with sugar at work, and I have difficulty listening to my hunger signals too. So I wish I could be more help, but I’m actually in the same boat as you! Try not to beat yourself up too much though. You can’t change what’s already happen, but you can make sure you eat better from now on.
It’s so true. I’ve found my Timor mojo and I am kicking ass. I did a “79 days” on my blog about it. I loved who I was in Timor..and she’s still there. I can feel her..ROAR..yep she’s there. thanks for stopping by.
Work is really bad for eating – it all boils down to sitting at a desk most of the day and being bored. I used to just drink gallons of black coffee and never ate anything at all at my desk. That was my rule – if I eat, I have to go outside, stopped me snacking anyway but the coffee meant I was forever going to the loo.
I think you have to accept that it is much harder being the new you/real you back in the old place where it is all too easy to sink back into old habits and thinking patterns. You can do it – of course you can – but you perhaps have to set yourself some rules and limits until you are finding it easy. I find I have to be REALLY strict with myself for a while and can then ease off when I’ve got into good habits/found the mojo.
But keep writing about it all cos then we can try to help you along.
xxx